Change

Last night I met up with two of my oldest friends whom I hadn’t seen in more than a year. One is about to move to San Francisco and start her job, and the other is beginning a Masters program at Rutgers. We discussed other friends of ours and how one is knee-deep in law school and another is moving to China to lead tour groups for a hotel.

Lately I’ve been thinking about all the changes that are happening (or are about to happen) in my life and others’. It’s hard not to. It seems as if everywhere I look something is different. It’s a new kind of different, namely because school is no longer involved, but more because I think this is what growing up feels like. The horizon is not quite as shiny and exciting as it was the summer before freshman year of college, but in a way it’s better. And as shocking as it still is to me that college is in my past, I’m glad to be on the brink of something even more unknown and even more exhilarating.

Don’t get me wrong, this job hunt mess that I’m on the brink of is sometimes more terrifying than it is exciting, and it comes with its share of incurred self-doubt. People tell me rejection is part of the process, but surprisingly enough that doesn’t offer much comfort. However, each renewed effort reminds me that sooner or later (please be sooner rather than later) I’m going to find something right for me…or something that will lead me to what’s right. This is me putting on my big-girl pants and preparing to leap into a new chapter of a new world.

On the way back to our cars, after catching up for a few hours, my friend caught sight of my Dani’s Duds license plate and said, “It’s nice when you can come home and see things that haven’t changed.” She was right. In light of all that’s new and all that’s different, it’s a deep calming breath to know that while we are caught up in the whirlwind of this growing up business, there are things that will always be here to anchor us and those that will never change even when we do.

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